FOURTH AND LAST PART.
69. LXIX. THE SHADOW. (continued)
A wanderer am I, who have walked long at thy heels; always on the way, but
without a goal, also without a home: so that verily, I lack little of
being the eternally Wandering Jew, except that I am not eternal and not a
What? Must I ever be on the way? Whirled by every wind, unsettled, driven
about? O earth, thou hast become too round for me!
On every surface have I already sat, like tired dust have I fallen asleep
on mirrors and window-panes: everything taketh from me, nothing giveth; I
become thin--I am almost equal to a shadow.
After thee, however, O Zarathustra, did I fly and hie longest; and though I
hid myself from thee, I was nevertheless thy best shadow: wherever thou
hast sat, there sat I also.
With thee have I wandered about in the remotest, coldest worlds, like a
phantom that voluntarily haunteth winter roofs and snows.
With thee have I pushed into all the forbidden, all the worst and the
furthest: and if there be anything of virtue in me, it is that I have had
no fear of any prohibition.
With thee have I broken up whatever my heart revered; all boundary-stones
and statues have I o'erthrown; the most dangerous wishes did I pursue,--
verily, beyond every crime did I once go.
With thee did I unlearn the belief in words and worths and in great names.
When the devil casteth his skin, doth not his name also fall away? It is
also skin. The devil himself is perhaps--skin.
'Nothing is true, all is permitted': so said I to myself. Into the
coldest water did I plunge with head and heart. Ah, how oft did I stand
there naked on that account, like a red crab!
Ah, where have gone all my goodness and all my shame and all my belief in
the good! Ah, where is the lying innocence which I once possessed, the
innocence of the good and of their noble lies!