BOOK VIII. CONTAINING ABOUT TWO DAYS.
4. Chapter iv. In which is introduced one of the pleasantest barbers...
This Sun, into which Jones was now conducted, was truly named, as
lucus a non lucendo; for it was an apartment into which the sun had
scarce ever looked. It was indeed the worst room in the house; and
happy was it for Jones that it was so. However, he was now too hungry
to find any fault; but having once satisfied his appetite, he ordered
the drawer to carry a bottle of wine into a better room, and expressed
some resentment at having been shown into a dungeon.
The drawer having obeyed his commands, he was, after some time,
attended by the barber, who would not indeed have suffered him to wait
so long for his company had he not been listening in the kitchen to
the landlady, who was entertaining a circle that she had gathered
round her with the history of poor Jones, part of which she had
extracted from his own lips, and the other part was her own ingenious
composition; for she said "he was a poor parish boy, taken into the
house of Squire Allworthy, where he was bred up as an apprentice, and
now turned out of doors for his misdeeds, particularly for making love
to his young mistress, and probably for robbing the house; for how
else should he come by the little money he hath; and this," says she,
"is your gentleman, forsooth!"--"A servant of Squire Allworthy!" says
the barber; "what's his name?"--"Why he told me his name was Jones,"
says she: "perhaps he goes by a wrong name. Nay, and he told me, too,
that the squire had maintained him as his own son, thof he had
quarrelled with him now."--"And if his name be Jones, he told you the
truth," said the barber; "for I have relations who live in that
country; nay, and some people say he is his son."--"Why doth he not go
by the name of his father?"--"I can't tell that," said the barber;
"many people's sons don't go by the name of their father."--"Nay,"
said the landlady, "if I thought he was a gentleman's son, thof he was
a bye-blow, I should behave to him in another guess manner; for many
of these bye-blows come to be great men, and, as my poor first husband
used to say, never affront any customer that's a gentleman."