BOOK VIII. CONTAINING ABOUT TWO DAYS.
4. Chapter iv. In which is introduced one of the pleasantest barbers...
In which is introduced one of the pleasantest barbers that was ever
recorded in history, the barber of Bagdad, or he in Don Quixote, not
The clock had now struck five when Jones awaked from a nap of seven
hours, so much refreshed, and in such perfect health and spirits, that
he resolved to get up and dress himself; for which purpose he unlocked
his portmanteau, and took out clean linen, and a suit of cloaths; but
first he slipt on a frock, and went down into the kitchen to bespeak
something that might pacify certain tumults he found rising within his
Meeting the landlady, he accosted her with great civility, and asked,
"What he could have for dinner?"--"For dinner!" says she; "it is an
odd time a day to think about dinner. There is nothing drest in the
house, and the fire is almost out."--"Well, but," says he, "I must
have something to eat, and it is almost indifferent to me what; for,
to tell you the truth, I was never more hungry in my life."--"Then,"
says she, "I believe there is a piece of cold buttock and carrot,
which will fit you."--"Nothing better," answered Jones; "but I should
be obliged to you, if you would let it be fried." To which the
landlady consented, and said, smiling, "she was glad to see him so
well recovered;" for the sweetness of our heroe's temper was almost
irresistible; besides, she was really no ill-humoured woman at the
bottom; but she loved money so much, that she hated everything which
had the semblance of poverty.
Jones now returned in order to dress himself, while his dinner was
preparing, and was, according to his orders, attended by the barber.
This barber, who went by the name of Little Benjamin, was a fellow of
great oddity and humour, which had frequently let him into small
inconveniencies, such as slaps in the face, kicks in the breech,
broken bones, &c. For every one doth not understand a jest; and those
who do are often displeased with being themselves the subjects of it.
This vice was, however, incurable in him; and though he had often
smarted for it, yet if ever he conceived a joke, he was certain to be
delivered of it, without the least respect of persons, time, or place.