William Shakespeare: The Merry Wives of Windsor

ACT IV. SCENE 2. A room in FORD'S house. (continued)

FALSTAFF.
Good hearts, devise something: any extremity
rather than a mischief.

MRS. FORD.
My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brainford, has
a gown above.

MRS. PAGE.
On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he
is; and there's her thrummed hat, and her muffler too. Run
up, Sir John.

MRS. FORD.
Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page and I will
look some linen for your head.

MRS. PAGE.
Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight; put
on the gown the while.

[Exit FALSTAFF.]

MRS. FORD.
I would my husband would meet him in this
shape; he cannot abide the old woman of Brainford; he
swears she's a witch, forbade her my house, and hath
threatened to beat her.

MRS. PAGE.
Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and
the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!

MRS. FORD.
But is my husband coming?

MRS. PAGE.
Ay, in good sadness is he; and talks of the basket
too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

MRS. FORD.
We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry
the basket again, to meet him at the door with it as they
did last time.

MRS. PAGE.
Nay, but he'll be here presently; let's go dress
him like the witch of Brainford.

MRS. FORD.
I'll first direct my men what they shall do with
the basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.

[Exit.]

MRS. PAGE.
Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.
  We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
  Wives may be merry and yet honest too.
  We do not act that often jest and laugh;
  'Tis old but true: 'Still swine eats all the draff.'

[Exit.]