Mark Twain: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

THE TALE OF THE LOST LAND CHAPTER 26: THE FIRST NEWSPAPER (continued)

Well, when the priest had been droning for three hours, and the good king polishing the evidences, and the sick were still pressing forward as plenty as ever, I got to feeling intolerably bored. I was sitting by an open window not far from the canopy of state. For the five hundredth time a patient stood forward to have his repulsivenesses stroked; again those words were being droned out: "they shall lay their hands on the sick"--when outside there rang clear as a clarion a note that enchanted my soul and tumbled thirteen worthless centuries about my ears: "Camelot Weekly Hosannah and Literary Volcano!--latest irruption--only two cents-- all about the big miracle in the Valley of Holiness!" One greater than kings had arrived--the newsboy. But I was the only person in all that throng who knew the meaning of this mighty birth, and what this imperial magician was come into the world to do.

I dropped a nickel out of the window and got my paper; the Adam-newsboy of the world went around the corner to get my change; is around the corner yet. It was delicious to see a newspaper again, yet I was conscious of a secret shock when my eye fell upon the first batch of display head-lines. I had lived in a clammy atmosphere of reverence, respect, deference, so long that they sent a quivery little cold wave through me:

         HIGH TIMES IN THE VALLEY

               OF HOLINESS!

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          THE WATER-WORKS CORKED!

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    BRER MERLIN WORKS HIS ARTS, BUT GETS
                    LEFT?

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 But the Boss scores on his first Innings!

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     The Miraculous Well Uncorked amid
              awful outbursts of

         INFERNAL FIRE AND SMOKE
                 ATHUNDER!

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